An Advent Calendar for the End of Time

Wait, no! Damn you, Easter Bunny!

Alas, time flies, and it is already 1st April.

Epiphany and the day of the Magi!

The three kings brought me my mother (theoretically and practically pre-moi, but you know what I mean) and many a good friend. So rejoice!

The Spanish today are eating roscón - each family crowning the king (or queen) of the day - and the little ones finally get their presents.

So, the Christmas season finally ends, takes its last bow, and whispers its quiet good byes. ‘Til next year…*

ACE says thank you and au revoir; this time for real**.

Hvala, danke, merci, gracias, and xiexie. Dhonnobad.

*Now watch out. Easter bunnies are bound to pop up soon, like next week…

**Yes, the Orthodox bunch over there in Russia only starts celebrating in earnest tomorrow, but no, enough, is enough. Bisous and take care!

Today is the official day for cross-dressing during the Christmas season.

The Twelfth Night of Christmas is upon us and what better way to celebrate than watch Helena Bonham Carter fall in love with a youth young woman in Shakespeare*’s Twelfth Night, or What You Will.

Polish director Janusz Kica’s production at the Slovene National Theatre in Maribor, Slovenia, also brings back great memories. They played the homoerotic undertones between Sebastian and Antonio for all it was worth, adding some proper drama instead of all the lighthearted fun. Loved it!

Tadej Toš as Feste: Brilliant. And that coat! 

So, today, behave like a man, or woman. Let’s say, just like a proper human, for the sake of brevity.

Also, The Killers have come a long way…

Somebody told me:

Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential

Human:

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?

I’m confused, and frankly I don’t know which lyrics make more sense. Or are we dancer? What???

*There is a Tumblr called Prose before hoes. For the sexist bard aficionado with a penchant for GIFs?

Veni vidi vici and alea iacta est.

Julius Caeser said both, but we will never know what he had to say after the Battle of Ruspina (now Monastir, Tunisia) on 4th January, 46BC.

Also, veni, vidi, vici is used way too often. By the wrong people.

This is all becoming a bit tedious. Just as with the dust that’s settling on that lumpy Christmas tree in the corner of your flat and is making you sneeze, you are now constantly irritated by the Christmas leftovers still on display.

Why, we did try to stop things in many a different way. End of the world schemes, over-the-top hangovers on 1st…

But nay, on the lights keep blinking and shimmering…

OK, people, the honeymoon period is over.

It’s back to your day jobs, back to your daily chores, back to reality…

The Christmas/New Year glittery halo hovering over our heads is slowly disappearing*.

Except for some children who can muck around and about for another four to five days.

Lucky ones.

*Also, what were those New Year’s resolutions again… Sigh… OK, tomorrow I’ll start. Or Monday. It’s good to start something new at the beginning of the week. But I already fucked up January…maybe just wait ‘til February. No, that’s not really a proper month, is it? Ending just like that on the 28th… March, spring, that’s the one… It’s all about timing!

2013!

WOW.

That was quick.

Happy New Year 2013!

How fitting for this calendar and the Christmas season that the New Year kicks off on the Christmas Islands, Kiribati* and Samoa.

If you want to follow the champagne corks flying around the world check out this site.

Lots of Happiness, Health, Love, Luck, and Success to everyone. Prosit!

*How many more years? Kiribati is one of the most vulnerable nations affected by climate change and the constantly rising sea level.

Kids, I told you to make plans. I did. I still remember.

Right there on 19th December, two days short of the non-pop-ellipse - yes we are still orbiting - I said, loudly and clearly, black on white, make plans for New Year’s Eve.

But have you?

Well, kind of, but not really.

May I? Your inner monologue so far:

You tentatively agreed to maybe, perhaps, hang out with Crowd A.

But only if nothing better comes up. Crowd A is your Plan B. Not that Crowd A isn’t nice. It is. Perfectly. But nice is not what you want for the last day of the year.

You want mayhem, fun, and out-of-body experiences you could - but would eventually never - tell your grandchildren about. No children, no grandchildren. Sorry that’s the math.

So far, you are stuck with Crowd A.

Secretly though, you are still hoping somebody from the way cooler* Crowd C will text/call/beg you to pass the last hours of the year with them.

Good luck. You have one more day.

Just make sure you don’t get wasted at your very own New Year’s Eve party and then miss out on Elvis Costello popping in to say hello**.

Seriously, you survived the apocalypse. You’ll survive the start of yet another day year.

*The grass is always greener on the other side. Even in winter. That’s because you are blocking the sun with the shadows of your thoughts! There, I said. Somebody had to tell you.

**Yes, it’s a film reference. Or a DVD suggestion for the night of 31st. Maybe both.

In 1851 the first YMCA opened its doors in Boston.

Lord knows nobody then knew what was lying ahead more than a hundred years later.

YMCA…lalalalala…YMCA…